Barely funny, slightly bawdy—as ordered
Well, here’s low-quality smut with equally mediocre laughs: I like my coffee like my lovers—hot, strong, and making me question my life choices afterward; I’m not saying my love life is a war zone, but every time I go there, something explodes and I back off. My love life is like Wi‑Fi: strong signal until I walk into the bedroom, then it suddenly needs troubleshooting; I asked my bed for a commitment—it said, "I already support you more than anyone you’ve slept with," which honestly struck me as off.